AN ELIXIR LIKE 5 HOUR ENERGY–I THINK

Dear Readers: This is the 7th episode of the series: HELP, I WANT TO GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN. If you are new to this series, you may want to start with Chapter One–IF THEY’D HAD HAMBURGER HELPER BACK THEN. Thanks for reading.
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When Shirley and I arrived on campus—I drank in the elixir of nighttime lights. You’d have thought I’d gone to a Broadway show.

Years of being a housewife left me more than a little mentally unstable, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Night school was a breath of fresh air, a taste of freedom.

If I could have bottled this sweet potent, I might have invented the first 5 Hour Energy Drink.

The lights and bustle on campus left me feeling alive again.

Don’t get me wrong, I was crazy about my kids and husband, but I didn’t have a fond place in my heart for defrosting the refrigerator and waxing floors.

I still have nightmares of lunging at my frost-filled refrigerator with a sledge hammer.

And I never felt as happy as the 1950’s ads depicting women happily waxing their floors.

And don’t even ask me about cleaning the toilet.

What would become of me—a housekeeping misfit—a slacker—a disaster?

I had no idea where further education would take me. I was already out of my mind. Where would I go next?

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