THE SEARCH FOR SLEEP

Dear Readers: This is the 14th episode of the series: Help, I Want to Get Out of the Kitchen. If you are new to this series, you may want to start with Chapter One–If They’d Had Hamburger Helper Back Then. Thanks for reading.

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Shopping for sleeping pills was sort of like robbing a bank back 47 years ago.  With Kathy bundled in my arms, I sneaked into Westlake Pharmacy—casing the joint—hoping I wouldn’t see anyone I knew—and more importantly—that no one would see me.

I plucked the over the counter sleeping pills off the shelf and bought shaving cream for my husband—in  hopes of giving legitimacy to my venture. Looking over my shoulder as I approached the cashier, I hoped to get out of the store as soon as possible.

Shaking when I got to the car, I put Kathy in her car seat, drove home over snow crusted roads, and got home just as our car pool dropped our older girls home from school.

It wasn’t until years later—and lots of good therapy—that I realized much of my insomnia was linked to the question that invaded my sleep on a nightly basis.  “Could I be a good wife and mother if I pursued an education and career out of the house?”

Today’s women seem to juggle both home and career.  I had no role models—among my friends—on this venture.  I continued to feel alone.

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